Case #6514895 – January 31st, 2:13 PM. Suspect is a blonde woman over the age of thirty. She identifies herself as Sarah Vandella and is filed under the Must Implement Liberal Frisking, or MILF, category. The suspect presents an aggressive temperament upon interrogation. While being detained, the suspect argues and fights with the Officer on duty. In order to leave the store without being prosecuted, the suspect submits to proper Loss Prevention protocol. The rest of this case is classified. Evidence logged on January 31, 2020.